I gave birth to Lily Suraya

I gave birth to Lily Suraya binti Mohammad Dzafri on 18 January 2019.

Her arrival, me bearing her for 38 weeks and successfully delivered her are by far, my biggest accomplishment in life.

I don't plan to go in details about my labour but I am quite positive that I shall remember it forever. The ambiance of the labour room, the supportive midwives, the checking of dilation (ergh the worst!!), the calmness of  my gynae and of course, my husband. I couldn't have done it without him, really. He usap my head and recite zikir continuously. His love, support and comfort was all I needed. Dzafri cut Lily's umbilical cord and his iqamat were such an emotional moment for us.

Lily is now 3 months and 11 days. Time flies so fast yea :(

We are getting there

Can I now conclude that third trimester is the hardest to go through? 😭

Although I am just around 33 weeks ++? 

I swear I could cry writing this down. I do not want to complain, I really don't. But going through the day nowadays is really tough. It is hard to walk properly, I basically waddle my way everyday at work. I will wake up every 2-3 hours every night to pee, I got UTI, I am on antibiotics for the 4th time during this pregnancy because of my UTI, my face has lost its glow, I feel unattractive all the time, my breast has totally lost its shape, I can only wear 2 types of foot wear. One is my slip on flip flops and the other is my black Skechers (which is highly recommended btw for pregnant moms! super comfortable), I get annoyed easily with my husband for no reason, I sound weird on the phone where people can hear my breathing loudly on the phone which means I tercungap all the damn time. 

I know some might say they are less favorable of their first trimester. But for me, its definitely the third trimester. I almost feel like I am losing myself and becoming another person all together.

But.. come to think of it, I am changing to become another person. I am officially going to be a mother soon in January. Just by thinking about it makes all the pain disappear and I know it will be worth it. 

Baby was 2.1kg during our last visit to the Doctor, which was last week. She is so well behaved. She usually move around a lot around 5.30am - 6.00 am to wake me up for work, dance all the way again at 5.00 pm when I drive home alone in the car. Plus the occasional hiccups and dentam dentum in my tummy, I know she happily growing in there. I love her so much already, I cannot wait to meet her. 

Few more weeks to go!

We are officially 8 months today!

Well, my back pain (especially around my tail bone area) is back. Plus the urge to pee every 3 hours isn't a nice experience either. But all is good. That means I am getting closer and closer to my due date and get to hold my baby in my arms!

I have slowly and steadily prepare for baby's arrival since the past few weeks. and honestly, I am relieved. because I still had the energy to move around, washed, sidai and folded baby's clothes, changed my bed sheet and started packing for baby's hospital bag a little. As compare to what I am feeling now.. I will get super tired easily and if I get tired, my tummy will tighten and gets hard. So, I do not want to risk anything. Even at work now I will tend to do everything carefully and not to stress out myself too much. So, take it slow and for me, there is nothing more ridiculous than "too early" to prepare for baby's arrival and scared something bad might happen if we prepare too early. We know our own body, strength and how we want to manage things. Orang lain, lain cara dan upaya.

Anyways..

Packing for baby was really fun. I took my time happily, choosing which onesies to bring and which one for baby to wear first time ever after she enter this world! #excited I did some research on the net on what to bring and most list are the same so basically I packed for whatever I think that is necessary. I don't really care if I overpacked, because better be extra ready than sorry. (first time Ibu right here haha)

Chose the button front opening for her first outfit set.

Senang pakai, senang buka.

 Got it from Uniqlo's newborn collection! The designs are so minimal and its soft cotton. 

I loved them all!

Packed each outfit set in a zipper lock bag. 

5 sets all together with her go home outfit. 

Swaddles, baby blanket, towel, nursing cover, pampers and baby's toiletries.

Then I stopped organizing/packing because I got tired :P 

I have yet to pack few other things like my breast pump and milk bottles because they need to be sterilize first. So maybe will do all that together when I start packing for MY hospital bag. 

I was advised to bring along breast pump because we never know if baby could get jaundice and will be in the nursery and needs to be bottle fed. So yeah again, biar over prepare than under prepare. (Again, first time mother here hihu)

Week 30 Day 3 @ TCE Baby Expo

I have been looking forward to go to TCE Baby Expo since early 2nd trimester (I think?), when we thought it was a bit wee to early to go. But then they announced another expo coming on 24 - 25 November, which made me really excited. 

So I started on making my list for things to buy for new born, surveyed loads of brands. (Mostly for diapers, strollers, breast pumps and baby wipes haha I don't know why). 

One week prior to the Expo, I have prepared my Wish List from the TCE Baby Expo website. The Wish List really made our life easier because it states all the details for the product like the discounted price, how much you will save and most importantly, where the product is located! There were 3 halls with hundreds of booths. So the Wish List is a total life saver, with my bump and swollen feet, we did not have to walk aimlessly. #happy 

Our main target was the Spectra 9+ Double Electric Breast Pump Bundle. 

Dzafri and I went "super early". (Eleh, we arrived at 8.45am and the gate opened at 9am :P but even then the line was crazy long). and Alhamdullilah we managed to get the bundle!! It was only for the first 10 buyer for the discounted price and we were couple number 3! #happiernow

It was really a bargain. With THAT price I received:

1. One double electric breast pump set;
2. Two premium breast shield set; 
3. One manual switch kit;
4. One milk storage bag; 
5. Two nano icepack;
6. Two breast milk shell;
7. Five spectra strorage bottles; and
8. One silicone milk collector. 

Nangis. Honestly, I don't really know or whether I would use most of the items, but I became the #happiest because Kak Zana said that I will use most of the things, especially the milk collector and the bag. We shall see. 

Dzafri had to make 2 trips to the car, because of the things that we bought were all quite heavy and I am not much of a help to carry heavy things now so I just lepak at Old Town with my roti paratha and kari ayam :D

Few of our purchase that I am extremely satisfied with: (not listing it all because malas)

Initially I wanted the Tommee Tippee's newborn grooming set because I am already familiar with the set, used it before when I babysit my nephew, Seth. but takdeeee~

So I settled down for Mimosa. Which leads me to the 2in1 Bottle and Nipple Brush (RM10!), Travel Milk and Snack Dish (RM12!!) and this is totally unnecessary but its so cheap... Pacifier Clip with ribbon so cute can't resist not to buy.. RM7 

Offspring Natural - Plant Based Baby Combo Set. 

RM135 (I saved RM67!)

Autumz Nursing Bra.

It was less than RM50 for 3, I think.. tak ingat and its comfy, I am wearing it right now. But make sure to buy 1 cup bigger, because the lady told me women's breast tend to get slightly bigger if we breast feed.

By 12.30 pm, the Halls were already too crowded with people and I started to feel tired. So before I became cranky, we decided to go home and rest and fully satisfied with our purchases. 

Newborn shopping is so much fun. I will cherish this memory always, preparing for our first born. Nervous + excited all jumbled up into this one ball of emotion in my chest. 

Next on the list! My hospital bag and bilik pantang. 

Second Trimester

Alhamdullilah, I can conclude that my second trimester was quite a breeze. I enjoyed my pregnancy during this period because I can drive to work again, I do not feel as tired as I was during the first few months.

But I do experienced stretch marks at the side of both my thighs and it has been there ever since. (I am now 28 weeks 5 days)

My effort to konon-konon to overcome this is that I bought D'Aura's virgin coconut oil. I saw a pregnant friend posted about it on her insta story and me being easily terpengaruh, went to D'Aura's official instagram account and purchased it in a heart beat. Ha-ha. 

I love loveeee the roll on. It does not make my spider veins disappear, but it does control them veins not to spread to my butt and the redness also lessen. So yay to this! I bought the capsule too.. but I did not like it that much because the after taste is just...indescribable. But I will try to consume it back since I am now in my third trimester, and my doctor suggested to start taking VCO now. She preferred for me to take the liquid.. cannot imagine how it would taste haha nangis

*BENEFITS OF VCO* 

from google.com

1. Prevents stretch marks. Lots of women swear by coconut oil as a great way to prevent stretch marks during pregnancy and help fade existing ones post-birth because of it's moisturizing properties and inclusion of vitamin E;
2. And for those of you planning to breast feed, coconut oil is high in lauric acid, which is supposed to stimulate milk production during pregnancy and after birth. Coconut oil isn't the only part of the coconut that can help with pregnancy, either. Coconut water has lots of benefits as well.

and also some say bagus cause senang beranak. So I dunno. Ask me again in January. :P

One of the blessings I got during this pregnancy is that most of my close friends and friends also got pregnant the same time as me. Nadira, Umie, Epy (and the list really goes on!) so I am blessed that I can share almost about anything with them. I am blessed to have my sister in law too, Kak Zana. She had 2 babies already. So she basically guided me through this whole journey, what to buy, when to buy what is good and what is not... and when to BOOK FOR A CONFINEMENT LADY.

So yeah, I was 15 weeks when I book my confinement lady (CL). I really do not know the right time to book for one but most would say to book early as the good ones are hard to get and mostly are fully booked. I contacted a few but lastly I resorted to Kak Zana's ex-CL service. Paid the booking fee and doa for the best. Hope to update more on the CL when I deliver soon. 

Among other things that I bought, I did, I experienced and helped me during 2nd trimester:

1.  Mothercare nipple cream; 
2. Cocoa butter for stretch marks lotion (for my growing tummy); 
3. Dreamgenii Pregnancy Pillow (but really, any bolster or big and fluffy pillow would do for me hehe);
4. Changed my prenatal vitamins from Similac to Obimin Pluz to Iberet Folic 500. - reason I stopped Similac was because my hb was quite low. So I took a stronger dosage of Iron. Obimin Pluz gave me a disastrous gas in my tummy. and syukur no side effects for me when I take Iberet Folic 500.;
5. Started on Neurogain DHA - for baby's brain and eye development; 
6. Changed my gynae and hospital;
7. Essential oils - especially Lavender and Gentle Baby. Both are love and helped me sleep and calm my anxiety;
8. Never ever skip breakfast or else I will get gastric; 
9. Maternity bra and panties. I bought Neubodi nursing bra and Mothercare's maternity panties. Both brands are comfortable, I love them. 
10. Maternity clothes for office. - could not fit into my kurungs anymore. Aeon has loads of affordable maternity wears, but must pandai pilih cause some of the designs are tacky and not suitable for office wear.

and also, not to forget, from all the checkups, baby is growing well too inside the oven. 

She is already 900 gram at 26 weeks. ❤️

First Trimester

I do not remember much of my first trimester. All I am sure of is that it was truly a roller coaster ride of emotions. I still want to document what I experienced here so that one day I can read back again and reminisce.

So, here's a breakdown of most of the things I remember from Week 5 - Week 12 of my pregnancy. 

I was a constant ball of anxiety. 

From the outside, I was mostly happy all the time. (I think) but honestly, I was a ball of anxiety. I was scared all the time. I was scared whether my baby is still there? Whether I can get through this pregnancy? What if I messed up? What if I eat this (or that) and baby will not like it and just go away? It was awful. 

I went to the extent that I asked Dzafri to buy me pregnancy tests everyday for 4 days just for me to make sure, that I really am, pregnant.

My anxiety worsen when we went for our first check up at Putra Medical Center, Sungai Buloh (PMC). I was around 4 weeks. The ultrasound did not show any embryo or yolk sac (kantung bayi). I silently screamed inside and I was extremely anxious. The doctor set for another appointment the following week as he said it is normal for it not to appear at that point of time because it was still a bit too early and baby is just the size of a poppy seed. (CUTE!!).

Starting from that day till the next checkup, I googled EVERYTHING about yolk sac, ultrasounds and other mothers' experiences during Week 4. It helped me a lot, honestly. I managed to breathe a little when most of the articles I came across said that it is completely normal to feel the way I felt and that I am not alone.

Then, the 2nd checkup day came.

  Hello there, sweet angel. My first sight of you.  :)

I started feeling slightly better when I heard baby's heartbeat for the first time. 

That was on 15 July 2018. Baby was 11 weeks and 4 days.  

I think its normal for first timers to be nervous and scared like I was. All we need was just a little assurance and loads of support from families and friends. Constant anxiety is no joke, I tell ya. But a little support was everything to me during those weeks. 

Changes to my body and my morning sickness.

My pre pregnancy weight was 59kg-60kg. Then it got up super rocket after because I was hungry all the time. 

I was constantly sick during this trimester. I cannot brush my teeth without wanting to puke, I cannot stand the smell of my own husband, I cannot bring myself to work every morning. Hence, the numerous MCs and ELs I had to take. 

The most obvious change that I could see happening to my body was my areola got super darken and big. I. was. terrified. It was so weird to see myself naked in the mirror. 

Backpain!! Yikes. I will never forget about this. Ever. Dzafri drove me to work most days during this trimester and I sleep most of the time when I am in the car. 

Vitamins I took.  

During first trimester, I only took Similac Pramilet (folic acid) tablets early in the morning right after I wake up. It did not give me any unwanted side effects and I was perfectly okay with it. 

Then my doctor (at that time) gave me calcium tablets because I was lazy to drink milk and also, powder milk makes me puke. Yeh. 

Also, Kaisya recommended me to take Pati Delima Gulsan which suppose to help with my hb level and gives me fiber. Also, no unwanted side effects and I was okay with it too. 

All three above I took religiously without skip. Lol. 

I was so semangat. 

The day I found out about you

It was the morning of 25th May 2018. It was the 9th day of Ramadhan. 

I have been feeling uneasy for the past week, sometimes at night, I could hear my own heart beat because it was beating so fast and loud. From there, I knew something big is about to happen. 

Not going to lie, but I have bought few pregnancy tests from the pharmacy and all showed me one line. Mungkin belum lagi, mungkin nak period kot. I thought to myself. 

I have been to the clinic few times before and the doctors said it could be gastric, being in the month of Ramadhan and all.

But then, that very morning. I was at my cubicle. My tummy was still having cramps, my breast were sore,  nausea and my head started to spin. I felt extremely anxious.

 I NEEDED TO KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON WITH MY BODY.

Klinik Mutiara, Putrajaya. A male doctor, maybe in his 50s, full grey hair. He was very fatherly, extremely nice and soft spoken. He asked me when was my last period date. I knew the exact date because I have been keeping track through an App called Flo. Then he persuaded me to take a pregnancy test, even though I told him I have already taken one the day before and it was negative lol

I was emotionless when I took it. (when i peed on it)

My first test ever that showed a double (and super faint) line.

It took quite awhile for the line to appear. The doctor kept saying, Takpe, kita tunggu sekejap lagi.

Then it appeared. AllahuAkbar.